OK, referees are impartial (or at least they should be) so you can’t exactly get them on ‘your side’, however there are a few things you can do to make it more likely that your team get more of the 50/50 decisions.

I am an AYSO Coach but also happen to be a qualified US Soccer and English FA Referee so have a good perspective from both a player, coach and referees’ point of view. Read the tips below and implement them during your next match:

1. Never directly abuse the referee, no matter how bad their decisions are.

It is completely pointless. Not only is there zero chance of the referee changing their mind but they are very likely to hold this against you when the next 50/50 decision is made. Yes, referees should remain completely impartial and base their decisions on the action on the field, however the reality is that they are only human and if you have screamed in their face 5 minutes earlier and are now calling for a 50/50 decision, chances are it will go to the other team as the referee makes a split second decision with your abuse still fresh in their mind.

If the referee makes a call which you know is clearly incorrect, tell your players to get on with the game and forget it. At half time or an interval, you can mention it to the referee. Something simple along the lines of, «Sir, that was a clear handball when they scored the goal, I know you couldn’t see it though from your angle so I understand why you didn’t make the call, no hard feelings. Give us the next handball decision please!»

The referee will likely realise he made the mistake and your credibility will be increased the next time you call for a decision.

2. Thank the referee when they make a good call

Very simple but very effective. Don’t be sarcastic or shout «thanks sir» after every single decision but when the referee makes a close call on a 50/50 or what you might consider a big decision, a sincere «good call sir» or «thank you sir» goes a long way.

Everyone has a desire to receive praise, even referees, so massage their ego (yes, referees also have ego’s) without being over the top or condescending. Even if it doesn’t directly benefit you during the game (although it is likely that it will), chances are when the referee officiates one of your games later in the season, they will remember your praise and you will benefit then.

3. Do not assume you know the rules (laws) better than the referee; chances are you really don’t so just let the referee get on with their job.

All AYSO Referees have to go through training and reach a required level of competency to qualify as a ref. You may have played or coached the game for many years and believe you know better than the referee, however this is invariably not the case in my experience.

Unless you have studied the laws of the game then it is extremely likely that you don’t fully understand many of the common fouls and infringements that you regularly scream at the referee for! I played semi-professionally for 15 years and thought I knew the rules perfectly; how wrong I was when I took my referee exam (I ended up getting 99/100 on the test paper but only after hours of study made me realise I didn’t fully understand around half of the rules!)

Do your job as a coach; look after your players, encourage them and ensure they also respect the referee. Then let the referee do his job and apply the laws of the game. If you would like to learn the rules/laws more thoroughly, see below.

Here is a link to a simplified version of the rules (known as laws of the game) – http://www.aysoarea3t.org/laws.html

Graham Poll was one of the best referees in the English Premier League and you can learn a lot by following his column in the Daily Mail – http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/columnist-482/Graham-Poll.html

Paul Spacey is the co-founder of http://www.parentsoccercoach.info, a free online resource giving AYSO Parent Coaches everything they need to coach their team for the season.

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